Well, I jinxed myself. Not only did I end up at clinic this morning, but I ended up back on Cyclosporine. Two doctors and a nurse walked in and I jokingly said, "Okay, why is everyone in here? Are they trying to soften the blow?" only to find out it was true. My liver enzymes have increased and the GVHD has flared. No school in February, no Oklahoma trip, and more medication. I sat in the hospital parking lot praying for patience, screaming, hitting the steering wheel, and blaring the song "Firework" by Katy Perry. There is one lyric I cannot get out of my head, "Maybe all the doors are closed, so you could open one that leads you to the perfect road."
I've found myself joking and smiling a lot tonight. Maybe I'm scared or maybe I'm angry, but I'm still thankful. My life isn't over; my "teenage dream" is merely postponed. The sun will still shine in the morning and one day I will too.
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I am so sorry (((Ceci)))... but you are right -"merely postponed". Hang in there! My life is also kinda hanging in the balance, so I certainly do understand your anguish. I will be with you in prayer, my friend. xx Julie
ReplyDeleteOh, Ceci, how I hurt for you!!! And, at the same time, I am soooooo VERY proud of you!!! You are such an inspiration! I am praying that the right door will open---and soon!!! Just remember, you SHINE to us ALL the time! Much love and prayers, Kathy & Rexie
ReplyDeleteI just started crying when I heard the news, Ceci. I hurt so bad for you! Then, I read your blog and am just so amazed and inspired by you! You are definitely one of a kind! Like you said, everything is just merely postponed. We'll still have a slumber party, play Nerts for hours, and take pictures at Grand. (Krista and I had been planning;) I love you so much! Keep climbing girl! Jena Belle
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry Ceci!! I don't know what to say other than hang in there, it is just another bump in the road that you will get past. Just know that we will keep praying for you and your family. It appears that you are handling the news better than I am. It seems I have to get encouragement from you instead of encouraging you. Thanks for being so strong and courageous! joe
ReplyDeleteThere is always going to be another mountain but I know you will find the peak. Honestly trying to write the right words to you is the hardest thing for me because I know this hit you hard, it hit me hard too because I know you were upset. I know it seems like such a huge set back but we can't think of it that way. It brought me to tears today just thinking about you and what you have been through and what an amazing girl you are. Do you know what I am thinking right now, that I just want to give you the worlds biggest hug and tell you everything is going to be ok. I want to let you know that you always have a friend here for you so never lose hope, I know you won't. I love you I do I do I do!
ReplyDeleteLook at it this way...your life lately is like one of those math assignments that has the 100's square on it. Lucky for you, it's only like going back a few squares, and not to square one. I know that's why you are thankful and hopeful, because of how far you have already come my friend! Pretty soon, you'll be back to 100 then can move on to the bigger and better things! We will be running especially hard for you this weekend and praying for your great health to return quickly. We are going to try to video blog...so you can "come along with us." Notice I said TRY because I am about as tech UN-savvy as they come but we'll do our best! Love you kid! Keep the faith and keep climbing!
ReplyDeleteOh, dear Ceci. . . .what strength and faith you continue to show even in the midst of frustrations and disappointments. Part of your climb is to help the rest of us see the good in life and turn to God more with our challenges. Please know that we never stop praying for you. Remember Chutes and Ladders, the kid's board game? Sometimes we get to go up the ladder fast and sometimes we have to backslide just a bit. . . .but you pick yourself up and keep climbing. We're proud of you and consider it a blessing to be your friends. Love, Richard and Tamara in WA
ReplyDeleteJust to remind you, Ceci, that we are behind you on your Climb. We are pushing you, crying with you, praying for you(and, for us in our pain for you, also), loving you, admiring you, praising God for you, missing you already on Thanksgiving(but being so very thankful for you and your climb). Much love, Kathy&Rexie
ReplyDeleteHey there... still thinking about you, and Oprah. Maybe I will email her again just to keep on her back about the important episode coming up! Hope you are still smiling. You have a beautiful one. xoxo Julie
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