Friday, December 2, 2011

Thanksgiving Hope

The new medication ExJade makes me feel poorly. It hurts my stomach, gives me headaches, and makes me nauseous. Sounds like fun, right? We have backed down on the dose and kept a close eye on my counts.

It’s like I’ve started falling out of that good place I’ve been in. I was supposed to go visit Uncle Rick and Aunt Ro this Thanksgiving, but had to cancel plans because my hemoglobin dropped. Apparently, high cabin pressure and low hemoglobin are a nasty combination, so we stayed home instead. I’m tired, not feeling well, and bored. Allan has been so sweet. He has kept me entertained and laughing, renting movies, and watching TV marathons. However; it doesn’t make me forget what I was supposed to be doing or how I feel. I spent Thanksgiving day in my pajamas and Chelsea an Lexi were so kind to bring the feast to me.

I was flipping through a magazine and found an article about a man who had a transplant in 2010; since then he’s opened a fitness center, got engaged, was on the Amazing Race, training for a marathon, is tan and healthy, and has long curly hair. As I lay in bed single, weak, pale, short haired, and feeling poorly, I can’t help but wonder, why? Am I doing something wrong? I’m not saying I want to be engaged or on the Amazing Race, and everyone knows I will never be tan, but I just can’t help but feel like it’s my fault sometimes. I should mention he relapsed, so I’m so grateful to be where I am, instead of in his shoes, but it’s been a hard few days.

This Thanksgiving, I feel like I’ve lost my way a little. The list of the things I am thankful for is never ending. It includes family, friends, faith, life, and laughter, but at the same time I’m disappointed and in pain. It leaves me feeling kind of like a turkey that was shot at, but survived. I’m hobbling along wounded and tired, but mostly thankful that I’ll live to see another year.

However, the long week is behind me and I am surrounded by amazing people who cheer me up. Please watch this beautiful video Allan made. It started out as a school project and turned into so much more…things are looking HOPEFUL.


  1. I just want to say I love you a freakin lot! I hate seeing you in pain it breaks my heart. I'm so sorry I wish there is something more that I can do. Be strong like I know you always are :) I am so thankful for you. Hard times are terrible getting through but they make you realize what is important in life. You are so important to me and I am so grateful that I have met someone like you who inspires me everyday. I pray for you every night and have been asking Him this week to make you feel better. Keep climbing you ARE stronger than this don't let anything change your mind from thinking that! I love you so much!!

  2. You take my breath away, heartache, hope, and love is so powerful! You and your family are so amazing and thanksgiving is every day because of knowing You!I hope You have a magical trip to NY. and can't wait to her about it! Love Always, Michele

  3. I just saw you on the early show and have been wanting to get on the registry for a long time, but have just put it off for some reason. Today im gonna go do it. That video was awesome! I just made one for a class at metro state about my dog, but i have to Allen might have done a better job than me. I wish you the best. -Jake

  4. I also just saw you on the Early Show and immediately checked out your site. I have to say it takes an incredible person to go through so much and then use their Make a Wish to help other people. You're truely an angel! Im inspired to register and help!

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  6. Hi cici...I live on Martha's Vineyard and I saw the show this morning. I am soooooooo happy that u are becoming healthy. U are a beautiful girl. I'm one of 7 kids and my older brother needed marrow years ago....thankfully another brother was a perfect match. I want u to know that after seeing you today I have begun to spread the word about being on the registry. I know my daughter will be sending for the kit thru your site for sure! Thanks for being a powerful influence. Continue to get well! God bless u and the ones who love u. Merry Christmas cici! Xo

  7. Oh, Ceci!! There are tears in my eyes seeing that people have already checked out your website and responded on your blog from seeing you on national television this morning. Your wish is coming true. I am so, so proud of you. Your passion to help others is so commendable. Thank you for being such a caring and selfless person. You will never have to wonder if you did all you could to help save a life because you most certainly have done your part and beyond. I'm smiling just thinking about you right now, and I know God is smiling down on you as well. You are so special. I love you. Jena

  8. Ceci, I saw you on the Early Show, and you really touched my heart! I am thankful for your selfless compassion for others, and I'm so excited how God is using you to save the lives of so many. I went on the site, and can't wait to get my kit to join the registry. Thank you for opening my eyes to this opportunity to serve, and I'll be sharing the website with all the other teachers I work with, and anyone else who will listen. :) God bless you, Ceci, and we'll be praying for your full recovery!

    Bethany (Oklahoma)

  9. Oh, Ceci, Allan portrayed you perfectly---what an inspiration of HOPE you are to all of us! And, my goodness, after everyone saw you on TV, even more people have been touched. You spoke soooo well and you are just soooo gorgeous! I had tears--I am so very proud of you and your CLIMB! Your unselfishness and determination is just amazing and so very encouraging! Thank you, Ceci, for sharing your disappointment and pain as well as your gain. You are so loved. Rexie & Kathy

  10. Ceci,
    I had the pleasure of meeting your Aunt Ro in Kansas City some time back and we talked about you and my daughter, Kaylee Quijas, who was diagnosed with leukemia just before her 15th birthday. I have checked in on your site from time to time and felt compelled to write you and tell you that I am praying for you. I hope your holidays are everything and bring all that you wish for.

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